Archives for December 2019

The Highest Return, Most Fun New Year’s Resolution You Can Make

Writing Super Human over the last few years made me realize how many anti-aging technologies are available to us. In fact, there are so many that it’s your job to choose the ones with the highest ROI because otherwise, you would spend all of your time not getting old. You wouldn’t have time for anything else.

The same is true for New Year’s resolutions. Don’t just make one that sounds good. Make the one that will matter the most. And make it one where you can succeed.

New Year’s resolutions almost always fail for the same reason most diets fail: they rely on willpower. As you’ve read in my books and on the blog, willpower is a function of how well your mitochondria work and how good your cognitive programming is.

If you take someone with hungry mitochondria, and put a cookie in front of them, the cookie is going to whisper at first, “Eat me”. Then you rely on resolve to say no, and double down on your will to not eat the cookie. The whisper gets louder and more urgent. By the time it is an insistent roar, you have run out of the energy that powers our will, and we eat the cookie. Or at least half of it.

The same thing will happen to you this when you make a New Year’s resolution to lose 20 pounds without Considering whether you have a strategy to keep it off, or do something insane like going “plant based,” without considering what plants actually could support your biology for decades. Or, you’re going vegan “for the environment” without considering that the soil that nourishes us all requires poop from healthy animals.

So here is the resolution that requires less willpower and provides the highest possible return, no matter who you are:

Build a friendship this year with someone more than one generation apart from you. This means someone at least 25 years apart from you. Even more is better.

If you are 25, find someone who is at least 70. If you are 50, befriend someone in their late 70s or someone in their early 20s, or both. If you are over 60, find someone in their 20s or early 30s.

I’ve been reflecting on some of the most powerful friendships I’ve built over the past few years. Several of them are with people who have decades more experience than I do. They are not just my friends, they are elders. They have built the wisdom that I am seeking to build in my own life. They’ve made the mistakes I have yet to make, and are more than willing to share their wisdom with me. And, it is fun for them to do it.

This year, Dr. Barry Morguelan came and spent Christmas with my family. His podcast episode was the most listened to in 2018. He has decades of experience as a UCLA surgeon, not to mention years spent in remote mountains in China becoming a real-life “Doctor Strange.” All of this allowed him to build a meditation program that my 12-year-old loves and that I use.

I would dearly love to spend a decade in a monastery learning the ancient secrets of Lao Tzu, but that is not my path in this life because I have kids and I am helping people in my own way. So I get to live vicariously through my friendship with Barry, and learn those secrets from him.

Likewise, I’ve built a friendship with Jay Abraham, one of the most prolific and knowledgeable business marketing consultants in the world with nearly 40 years Of experience with thousands of companies, and an amazing gift for words. He’s also been on the show and in my books and shared his wisdom of success and failure and showed me the ways of thinking. I can call either of these guys when I’m dealing with something that I don’t know how to handle, and they draw on their deep wisdom and provide advice that someone my age is unlikely to be able to provide.

I ask them, and another friend in his 70s, Dan Sullivan, who is also been on the show and coached entrepreneurs for 40 years on how to not screw things up, why they maintain friendships with people decades younger. They say that they are energized by seeing and experiencing what I am seeing, or others even younger, because it reminds them of their experiences and refreshes their memory. It keeps you young to have young friends, and it keeps you wise to have old friends.

This resolution is actually fun if you do it, but it takes commitment, especially at the beginning. If you are decades older than your new friend, you’ll have to suppress your desire to roll your eyes with your young friend expresses this strong ego they are unaware of, or makes a terrible choice in a business partner or a relationship — one that you know they shouldn’t make, perhaps even one that you gently remind them is not a good call. But he will remind you of the times you did the same thing and what you learned by doing it.

At the same time, if you are decades younger than your new friend, you will have to suppress your own desire to roll your eyes if your older friend doesn’t understand how important it feels for you to have digital connections to your friends, and you will have to set aside your automatic defensiveness when your elder friend tells you something you really don’t want to hear that doesn’t make sense. It probably will make sense once you have achieved another level of knowledge and understanding.

You’ll also have to take an occasional pause from your urgent need to build relationships and grow your career so that you can have a cup of coffee with someone who will provide much higher returns than having lunch with someone your own age, or yet another business lunch.

How do you do this without looking weird? One simple idea is to print out this post and hand it to someone you want to get to know. Introduce yourself. Say that you made a New Year’s resolution to get to know someone who has a profoundly different life experience than you so that you can learn from it. That line will work whether your new friend target is much younger or much older.

Schedule a time to sit down for coffee. Bonus points if it’s Bulletproof! Then do what you always do to make friends: ask a question and then listen without judging. You never know what you will learn. If you are at a busy time in life with kids and a pressing career, schedule coffee or even a call every couple weeks, and explain to your new friend that sometimes life intervenes and you may have to move it. Trust me, they’ve already been there, and they will understand.

The idea of mentorship and intergenerational wisdom and respect for our elders was built into most societies going back even 50 or 60 years, but it’s become lost today.

So this is the most powerful New Year’s resolution you can make: either make yourself younger by having a friend much younger than you, or make yourself wiser my having a friend much older than you.

I only wish someone had told me this when I was 20! And that I would’ve believed them. 🙂

 

The Future is Faster Than You Think – Peter Diamandis – #655

In this episode of Bulletproof Radio, Peter Diamandis is here talking with me about the speed of the future—and how it’s here and now.

Peter’s mission is to elevate humanity to the next level. His primary focus is on accelerating breakthroughs in products, companies, and industries to solve some of the world’s greatest challenges. In the past several years, Peter has had several breakthrough technologies in different sectors including 3D Printing, Artificial Intelligence, computation, drones, materials science, health, energy, the future of work, and robotics.

“What we can do, what the average person can do these days is extraordinary and we don’t think about it,” Peter says. “It’s amazing how powerful we are, how much access to capital we have and computational power and knowledge and what we can do with that if it’s focused.”

His newest book, co-authored with Steven Kotler, The Future is Faster Than You Think: How Converging Technologies Are Transforming Business, Industries, and Our Lives, is a follow-up to his best-selling books Abundance and BOLD.

Peter is known as the world’s best expert in incentivized innovation and has worked in several Fortune 100 companies, government agencies, and captained various industry in the past 15 years. He’s the founder and executive chairman of the XPRIZE Foundation, which leads the world in designing and operating large-scale incentive competitions.

He has won multiple awards including the 2010 Economist “No Boundaries” award for “metainnovation”—steering innovation in the way people innovate.

Enjoy the show! And if you like what you hear, check out episodes #448, #449, and #552 on daveasprey.com.

Listen on Apple Podcasts or iTunesListen on Google Podcasts

Follow Along with the Transcript

The Future is Faster Than You Think – Peter Diamandis – #655

Links/Resources

Website: diamandis.com
Facebook: facebook.com/PeterDiamandis/
Twitter: twitter.com/PeterDiamandis
Instagram: instagram.com/peterdiamandis
YouTube: youtube.com/user/peterdiamandis
Bulletproof Radio: Reflecting on the Value of Community—Peter Diamandis #552
Bulletproof Radio: Peter Diamandis: Part 2—What The Hell Is a Moon Shot? #449
Bulletproof Radio: Peter Diamandis: Part 1—The Space Episode #448
Bulletproof Radio: Tony Robbins & Peter Diamandis: Special Podcast, Live From The Genius Network #306

Key Notes

  • The rate at which technology is accelerating is also accelerating 00:07:15
  • What is convergence? 00:09:20
  • Everything is getting digitized and getting cheaper 00:13:10
  • The difference between democratic and autocratic growth 00:15:15
  • A lot of people are scared of the future 00:19:50
  • What is the future of buying stuff? 00:21:55
  • How the four Ds apply to consumer goods 00:28:10
  • We are seeing a shift from scarcity to abundance 00:30:30
  • What is new in longevity? 00:32:30
  • Why Dave chose 180 as his lifespan 00:33:50
  • Is this stuff just for rich people? 00:37:00
  • The problem of overpopulation 00:39:45
  • Should we be worried about EMFs? 00:43:30
  • There are always unintended consequences of technology 00:46:55
  • Meat and vegetables are different, no matter what they taste like 00:49:30

Go check out my new book Super Human: The Bulletproof Plan to Age Backward and Maybe Even Live Forever and also “Game Changers“, “Headstrong” and “The Bulletproof Diet” on Amazon and consider leaving a review!

If you like today’s episode, check us out on Apple Podcasts at daveasprey.com/apple and leave us a 5-star rating and a creative review.

Digital Detox: How to Disconnect, and Why It’s So Good for You

[tldr]

  • If the thought of missing one notification makes you break out in a cold sweat, you might be due for a digital detox.
  • Overusing technology is bad for your sleep, your relationships, your productivity, and your self-esteem. Even a small break from technology can help your brain relax and recharge.
  • You don’t have to live in the woods to benefit from a digital detox. Start small and limit your screen time. Getting rid of distractions will improve your focus and sleep, and it’ll free up more time than you’d think.

[/tldr]

How long can you last without checking your notifications? If the thought of missing out on one “important” text or tweet makes you break out in a cold sweat, you might be due for a digital detox.

It’s tempting to think that the people who need to unplug are totally addicted to technology. The reality is that almost everyone can benefit from disconnecting, even for a day. Studies show that overusing technology is bad for your sleep, your relationships, your productivity, and your self-esteem.[ref url=”https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/23311908.2016.1157281″]

According to addiction therapist Cali Estes, PhD, founder of The Addictions Coach, a lot of her clients report increased happiness by shutting off social media or putting away their phone after dinner. “Even if it is a small change, your brain will relax and recharge.”

Here’s what you should know about the benefits of disconnecting, including actionable tips to finally unplug — and no, you don’t have to live off the grid forever.

When technology isn’t good for you

Stress response due to technology overuse

It’s impossible to step away from technology, and it’s not practical to suggest you can’t use it at all. The problem is that overusing technology makes it more difficult to live your life on your own terms. Here’s what that looks like:

  • Using technology after dark keeps you awake: Blue light from screens messes with your natural sleep-wake cycle. It also increases your risk of serious illness like obesity, cancer, and diabetes.[ref url=”https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4734149/”]
  • Social media use is associated with toxic behaviors: Specifically, narcissism, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem — especially among teens.[ref url=”https://news.umich.edu/you-re-so-vain-u-m-study-links-social-media-and-narcissism/”] [ref url=”https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306460316301095″] [ref url=”https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140197116300343″]
  • Overusing technology makes you less productive: Need to concentrate on a problem at work? You can’t reach that golden flow state of productivity when you’re constantly distracted (and stressed) by notifications.[ref url=”https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563214005810″]
  • Smartphones are especially disruptive: According to a 2014 study, using your smartphone for work at night makes you less productive and engaged the following morning.[ref url=”https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0749597814000089″] The results were more pronounced than other forms of technology, like tablets and TV.  

Why you should break up with your phone (even for a little while)

Woman using smartphone

Overusing technology makes it more difficult to focus on the experiences that truly bring you value. In Bulletproof founder Dave Asprey’s new book, “Game Changers: What Leaders, Innovators, and Thinkers Do to Win at Life,” Asprey writes about minimalist Joshua Fields Millburn, who periodically lives without a cell phone or internet. When Millburn brings those small luxuries back into his life, he “sees how they can enhance his life while remaining conscious of the ways in which they are wasting precious time and energy,” Asprey says. Listen to his interview with Millburn on this episode of the Bulletproof Radio podcast.

Follow Millburn’s example. You don’t need your cell phone or laptop. Sure, technology can make your life more convenient and entertaining. But most of the time, it’s more fulfilling to let your mind wander, have a face-to-face conversation with a loved one, or take a walk outside. These experiences can’t be matched by a text or a Facebook post. Instead of spending your time doing things that matter to you, technology is sapping your attention.

“We all need a digital detox,” says clinical psychologist Lisa Strohman, PhD, founder of Digital Citizen Academy. “Check your screen time. Are you doing things offline with at least a balanced number of hours as you are online?”

Think about it. You’re surrounded by screens and notifications morning and night. Say you spend an hour per night watching your favorite show. That’s 7 hours per week camped out in front of your laptop or TV (after you’ve already spent 8 hours at your computer for work). What if you spend that time working out, prepping your lunches for the week, reading a book, or working on your side hustle? How much more would you get done in a week, a month, or a year?

“A digital detox gives our minds and bodies an opportunity to restore their natural rhythms,” says Jennifer Weniger, PhD, a licensed psychologist and marriage and family therapist at Loma Linda University Behavioral Medicine Center. “It can enhance relationships and productivity. It can provide you with a genuine opportunity to feel mentally and physically relaxed.”

According to Weniger, there are some clear warning signs that you need a break from technology:

  • You constantly check your smartphone throughout the day (even when it’s not necessary).
  • You struggle to have face-to-face conversations.
  • You make careless mistakes because you’re always distracted.
  • You aren’t sleeping well.
  • You’re sedentary for long stretches of time. (Find out why that’s dangerous.)
  • You don’t spend time outdoors because you spend your free time looking at screens.

“There are some advantages to technology, such as instant access to information, but we as a society need to learn how to moderate technology so that it does not take over our lives,” Weniger says. “We need to control technology, and not allow technology to control us.”

Fortunately, you can take a few steps today to take back control of your time. Keep reading to find out how.

How to do a digital detox

Nobody is saying you need to go live in a cabin in the woods for a month (although spending time in nature is good for you). Start by identifying two important variables:

  1. How much time you spend online
  2. What you want to do instead

How much time you spend online

Man using smartphone

If you have an iPhone, you can check your most-used apps and average screen time in your phone’s settings. Go to “Settings” and tap “Screen Time.” Tap on your phone’s name to view your most-used apps, how often you pick up your phone, and even how many notifications you receive per app.

Then, think about how often you use screens throughout your day. Do you look at your phone as soon as you wake up? Do you switch between your phone and computer at work all day? Do you watch TV while you eat dinner?

Based on that data, decide how you want to proceed. If you want to be hardcore and go without any screens at all, rock on — but maybe save that goal for a weekend. If you have a job that requires computer screens or cell phone access, your boss might not appreciate your digital detox.

Instead, lay down some ground rules based on what’s realistic for you. Start small. Here are some ideas:

  • Swear off your most-used social media app for a week. Completely turn off notifications for that app. Tell friends they can call or text you if they want to reach you.
  • Turn off notifications during work hours. Check your messages at designated times throughout the day, like once every other hour.
  • Swear off screens after dark. Once the sun sets, keep your phone, laptop, and TV powered off. Turn off electronics in your bedroom, and black out LED screens. Pay attention when your body naturally starts feeling sleepy.
  • Change your notifications: Unsubscribe from email newsletters that clutter your inbox. Turn off the vibration setting on your phone. Does that red notification alert stress you out? You can turn it off in your settings and app permissions.

What you want to do instead

Person writing in planner instead of using technology

Everyone has 24 hours in a day. Without technology sapping your free time, what do you want to do instead?

  • Get creative: Draw, dance, write, paint, or get creative in the kitchen. Creativity is good for you — it helps build new connections between neurons and sharpens your brain. Learn more here.
  • Work out: Exercise is good for your brain, your body, and your mental health. You don’t need a ton of time to reap the benefits. Check out this 13-minute dumbbell workout you can do instead of checking Twitter.
  • Spend time with people you love: Grab dinner with a friend you haven’t seen in ages. Have a meaningful conversation with your partner. Invite your neighbors over for a board game night. Cook a complicated recipe with your family. Create memories that you can’t replicate with a phone in front of your face.
  • Unwind: If technology is an important part of your self-care routine, make sure you’re replacing that time with something else that gives you peace. Learn how to meditate, try a yoga class, spend some time in the sun, or take a long bath at the end of a stressful day — it’s better for your body than watching TV.
  • Go to sleep: Once you start limiting screen use, you might discover that you start feeling tired earlier in the evening. That’s your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle telling you to go to bed. Listen to it.

Taking a digital detox sounds a little woo-woo, but it’s a truly personal endeavor. When you aren’t sheltering your attention behind a screen, you might realize you have more free time than you think. And really, that’s the biggest benefit of a digital detox: It helps you take more control of your life and your attention so you can focus on what really brings you joy — whatever that may be.

So, don’t be afraid to disconnect. It’s good for you.

 

5 Ways to Enjoy the Holiday Meals — and Not Feel Like Crap

Here’s the scenario: You cut out your sugar and empty carbs in favor of high-quality fats. You pile your plate with enough vegetables to kill a cow. You’re getting more done in a day than you ever thought possible. You feel amazing, and the physical changes are the icing on your grain-free cake.

Then, comes holiday time. Will it all go down the tubes?

With a little planning, you’ll do just fine during the holidays. Rest assured, you can fully participate without derailing your progress. Read on for tips on how to join in on the festivities without losing your momentum.

Here are some ways to keep on track.

Go into the holidays strong and well-rested

Before the holiday meal, make sure you’ve had a good night’s sleep and your morning Bulletproof Coffee. When you’re tired, you feel it in places beyond your eyelids, including your hunger hormones and happiness neurotransmitters. The healthy fats in your Bulletproof Coffee will keep your hunger at bay and keep your blood sugar from doing crazy things.

It’s harder to say “no” to Grandma’s blue-ribbon pie when you’re off your game, and meeting your basic needs for sleep and energy will keep you strong.

Bring something delicious to share

If you make something to bring to the festivities, you can be sure you’ll have something to eat. You can also show the naysayers that you didn’t give anything up by upgrading your life. With a few tweaks, you can have all the wonderful things you normally see on the holiday table.

A few crowd pleasers you can whip up:

Your serving plate will go empty first. Just watch.

Let them eat cake… in peace

It’s natural to want to share something that has such an impact on your life. Instead, resist the urge to educate others on the Bulletproof Lifestyle as they’re grabbing another helping of mashed potatoes and dinner rolls. It’ll feel like helping from your end, but it’ll feel like judging from their end. Nobody wants that, especially during a celebration.

If someone asks what you’re up to with that coconut whipped cream, by all means, share why you love it. As long as they’re genuinely curious and you don’t get preachy, you’re good.

What does this have to do with kryptonite? Kryptonite isn’t limited to food — it’s anything that saps your performance, stress included.

Don’t expect anyone to accommodate your new lifestyle

Your family wants to make holiday memories with you, and they don’t want to exclude you from any bit of it.

However, expecting everyone to accommodate your new way of eating is simply unfair. Putting on a holiday feast is enough work as it is, and asking someone to learn about damaged fats, gluten, insulin, and lectins would put an unreasonable burden on the host.

Even the most flexible and willing family would have a hard time with it. Think about it — there’s an adjustment period over the first few days on the Bulletproof Diet. The first few days your metabolism is changing while at the same time you’re reframing your thinking on what good food means. You can’t put that on your family as they’re trying to relax and enjoy each other.

Your family might ask you if they can help, and that’s incredibly considerate of them. If they insist, offer up one of the recipes above.

 

holiday diet strategies

 

Or, give in and go wild for the holidays

If you feel like it, you can toss out all the rules for a day. Doing that might even benefit you in the long run. Pay attention to how crummy you feel in the next few days.

After the bloating, the cramping, the rashes, the mood swings, the skin breakouts, the creaky joints…however your body reacts, it won’t be pretty, and you’ll think twice before doing that again. Coconut charcoal capsules help clear out your system.

If you go a little crazy, especially with the booze, some detox action may be in order. Here’s how to hack your hangover and generally get the yuck out as quickly as possible.

RELATED: Bulletproof Alcohol – What to Drink During the Holidays

Be grateful

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you eat, what spiritual practice you follow. Gratitude is uplifting to everyone.

Ask everyone who’s celebrating with you to start by going around and saying something they’re thankful for. Then, observe everyone’s expression change to a contented happy one as they relax into the meal.

Oh, and be sure thank your host, even if you couldn’t eat a single crumb. Putting on a holiday celebration is a lot of effort.

Inevitably, at least one or two people will notice how amazing you look, how good the food you brought tastes, and how much energy you have. Get ready to answer some questions about the Bulletproof lifestyle. You’re an inspiration!

Thanks so much for reading and have an epic holiday season filled with love and gratitude.

 

READ NEXT: Use Gratitude to Rewire Your Brain

 

How to Deal With Difficult People, According to Science

[tldr]

  • Difficult people are a part of life, but the wrong connections can weigh you down and jeopardize your performance.
  • An ideal scenario would be to simply avoid these people, but that’s not always possible.
  • How to deal with difficult people: Cultivate empathy, boost oxytocin, take responsibility, express gratitude, meditate, agree to disagree, and get high-quality sleep.
  • If you try these suggestions and they don’t work, cut ties with the person if possible. If not, set firm boundaries.

[/tldr]

Everyone knows one. That controlling in-law, passive-aggressive colleague, or competitive friend. Difficult people are a part of life. But they aren’t doing your emotional or physical health any good. The wrong connections can weigh you down, sap your energy, and jeopardize your performance.

High-quality relationships are a key element to a high-quality life, and the power of community is a subject that I cover in my new book “Game Changers: What Leaders, Innovators, and Thinkers Do to Win at Life.” I interviewed hundreds of the world’s most cutting-edge scientists, educators, athletes, entrepreneurs, and artists to discover what makes these game changers so successful. It quickly became clear that people who are changing the world prioritize connection with others.

But what if some of those connections are causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety? An ideal scenario would be to simply avoid those people, but that’s not always possible. Read on for science-backed ways to deal with difficult people.

7 ways to deal with difficult people

1. Cultivate empathy

Empathy is key to establishing a meaningful connection with another person. Instead of casting off someone because you view them as difficult or unpleasant, take a minute to put yourself in their shoes. Walk around a bit. Empathy allows you to feel somebody else’s pain, and see the world from their point-of-view. Empathy is hard-wired, but it’s also a skill you can learn and improve.[ref url=”http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-32537-001″] Here’s how:

  • Measure your empathy score: First assess how empathic you are. Try this “Reading the Mind in the Eyes” test, which measures your ability to understand the emotional states of other people.
  • Be curious: When you ask someone about themselves and show curiosity about their life, not only do they feel heard, but it expands your worldview and helps you to understand them better.
  • Listen: Practice listening hard. Pay close attention to what someone is saying (even if they’re complaining, a common trait in difficult people) and show you’re engaged by looking directly at them. Avoid interrupting and wait until they’re finished making their point before offering your opinion.
  • Show interest: So your overbearing father-in-law loves bird watching. Read up on the topic and make mention of your newfound knowledge next time you talk to him. Learning about something he’s passionate about may help soften his rough edges and help you to bond in a new way.
  • Feel compassion: Being manipulative or playing the victim is typically a coping skill learned in childhood, a tactic that someone was forced to use to get their needs met. Once you realize this, you can feel compassion for the person and the child they once were.

2. Boost your oxytocin levels

A lot of how you feel about a person occurs at the chemical level. Social interaction impacts your brain chemistry — for better or for worse. When you meet someone who you perceive as trustworthy, your brain releases a hormone that signals the relationship is safe. That hormone is oxytocin, and when you get a hit of it, you’re driven to spend more time with that person because it makes you feel good.

When you’re dealing with difficult people, you likely won’t get that same hit of oxytocin. But there are ways to get more oxytocin even when you don’t feel particularly connected to the other person. If you feel good, that’s half the battle won when dealing with difficult people.

Ways to activate oxytocin release:

  • Hug more: Human touch is one of the most effective ways to stimulate oxytocin release. [ref url=”https://www.nature.com/articles/nature03701″][ref url=”http://www.mzellner.com/page4/files/2005-light.pdf”] Oxytocin lights up reward pathways in the brain, so you and the person you touch feel a sense of wellbeing. When you’re at a family dinner, greet your grumpy aunt with a big bear hug rather than a stiff wave. You may surprise yourself — and her — with how good it makes you both feel.
  • Prioritize face-to-face interaction: Talking to someone in-person triggers the greatest oxytocin release. Videoconferencing comes in second, then talking on the phone, and then texting. So if you can talk over an issue with your difficult coworker face-to-face or over video, do it.

3. Take responsibility

What makes someone “difficult”? There isn’t a universal definition. What I find challenging may be a non-issue for you. When someone is bugging you, ask yourself, “What is my responsibility in this situation?” The fact is, you can’t change another person, but you can change yourself.

Learn to identify your own emotional triggers and analyze why that particular person’s behavior gets to you so much. Say your boss regularly criticizes you. That sucks, I get it. But maybe someone disapproving of you is an emotional trigger, so you’re going to be especially sensitive to other people’s criticism. Once you have this awareness, you’ll be less emotionally reactive and be better equipped to assess the situation objectively.

4. Express gratitude

Gratitude is fundamental to long-term happiness. It’s so important that I made gratitude one of the core values of my company. Dozens upon dozens of studies show that gratitude makes you happier, more optimistic, more empathic, and more emotionally open.[ref url=”https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1052562911430062″][ref url=”http://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2014-38568-001″] Gratitude works at a neural level, and expressing gratitude fires up pathways that lead to more positive thinking.[ref url=”https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811915011532″]

When you’re feeling positive about your own life and in a more positive mindset, you’re less likely to get affected by a negative interaction with someone. Try out these 11 ways to build more gratitude.

5. Meditate

Dealing with difficult people is stressful. Meditation is one of the most powerful ways to lower stress and ease anxiety.[ref url=”https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/1809754″] Meditation rewires your brain and stimulates brain regions that soothe your nervous system.[ref url=”https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3004979/”] A daily meditation practice will help you approach social situations with a sense of calm detachment, and you’ll find that certain things that used to bug you don’t have the same grating effect. Meditation also teaches you to pause before reacting — an especially helpful tool when learning how to deal with difficult people. If you’re new to meditation, start with just five minutes a day, and work your way up to a daily 20-minute practice.

Learn more here on how to meditate effectively, then try out these meditation apps to get started.

6. Agree to disagree

Realize that it’s OK to have opinions or emotions that aren’t in sync with somebody else’s. Conflict — with others and within yourself — is a part of life. Accepting it can bring about peace, both internally and externally. The goal isn’t to change your mind or have somebody else change theirs. Rather, it’s to find a middle ground, which is where understanding and tolerance lies. Connecting with people who challenge you pushes you to grow in unexpected ways.

7. Get high-quality sleep

I talk a lot about the value of high-quality sleep, and for good reason. Sleep makes you more emotionally alert, calm, and present, all valuable tools when dealing with difficult people. While you sleep, your brain processes memories and emotions from your day. Without good sleep, you’re more tense, anxious, reactive, and depressed.[ref url=”http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.710.9204&rep=rep1&type=pdf”] Learn how to improve your sleep with these 9 sleep hacks.

Related: Why is Sleep Important? Science-Backed Benefits of Getting Your Zzzzs

The bottom line is, jerks do exist. If you try the above suggestions and the person continues to cause you stress, it may be time to move on. If you’re able to cut ties with him or her, do it. In cases where that’s impossible, like in the workplace, learn to set firm boundaries and stick to them. If your boss emails you at all hours of the night, resolve to only reply during working hours. They’ll soon get the message and will (hopefully) modify their own behavior.

 

 

Do Less to Get More – Kate Northrup – #654

In this episode of Bulletproof Radio, I’m taking with Kate Northrup. As an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, activist and mother, she has built a multimedia digital company by doing less and working fewer hours—all while raising two small kids.

In her newest book, “Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Busy Moms,” she says a resounding no to the addiction of busyness and debunks the myth that personal worth equals productivity.

“We might be doing things just because we’re upholding some standards that if we really were to check in with our hearts and souls, they’re not actually bringing us joy,” she says. “So, I believe things need to either bring us results or bring us joy. If they don’t bring us results or joy, they have no business in our lives.”

I’m excited to talk to Kate about how she balances practical data with the important soul work to manage her business, her energy and her life. I’m especially intrigued with how she manages to “bend time.”

Enjoy the show!

Listen on Apple Podcasts or iTunesListen on Google Podcasts

Follow Along with the Transcript

Do Less to Get More – Kate Northrup – #654

Links/Resources

Website: katenorthrup.com
Facebook: facebook.com/katenorthrupcommunity
Twitter: twitter.com/katenorthrup
Instagram: instagram.com/katenorthrup
YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCBJUL9OfD2FvF3bIsBL9Dmw
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kate-northrup

Key Notes

  • Why Kate started a company when she had kids 00:04:00
  • What is mommy-brain? 00:06:00
  • A recipe for overwhelm 00:09:50
  • Do a brain dump of the things you think you need to do 00:10:50
  • Tasks need to bring us results or joy 00:12:05
  • Delegate laundry ASAP 00:14:10
  • In business, it’s 2019 but in the home, it is the 1950s 00:16:00
  • Child help is like hiring a new employee 00:21:30
  • How do you break the addiction to business? 00:24:15
  • What brings Dave joy 00:29:50
  • Energy is the ultimate currency for everything 00:34:05
  • What are energy leaks? 00:38:25
  • How can you bend time? 00:46:45
  • For those who struggle with asking for help… 00:54:10
  • The power of Yoga Nidra and sleep 00:59:00

Go check out my new book Super Human: The Bulletproof Plan to Age Backward and Maybe Even Live Forever and also “Game Changers“, “Headstrong” and “The Bulletproof Diet” on Amazon and consider leaving a review!

If you like today’s episode, check us out on Apple Podcasts at daveasprey.com/apple and leave us a 5-star rating and a creative review.

Start hacking your way to better than standard performance and results.

Receive weekly biohacking tips and tech by becoming a Dave Asprey insider.

By sharing your email, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy