EP 1222
1222. How to Discover What You TRULY Want—and Ask for It! Featuring the Author of Dave’s Top Book for Women
In this episode of The Human Upgrade, Dave Asprey meets with Kasia Urbaniak, former dominatrix and author of Unbound, to dive into the nature of personal power and authentic expression. Kasia breaks down how emotional energy shapes our interactions, the impact of embracing desire without shame, and the dynamics of true connection. Exploring themes from the role of vulnerability to the influence of language, Kasia reveals techniques for aligning with our inner energy and mastering authentic communication. This episode delivers powerful insights for those ready to embrace personal freedom and explore the depths of human connection.
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In this Episode of The Human Upgrade™...
What if you could command any room and set boundaries without saying a word?
Dave Asprey sits down with Kasia Urbaniak, founder and CEO of The Academy—a trailblazing school where women learn the true principles of influence and authority. Kasia brings a unique and dynamic perspective, drawing on nearly two decades of experience that includes working as a professional Dominatrix, practicing Taoist alchemy in one of China’s oldest female-led monasteries, and earning certifications across disciplines like Medical Qi Gong and Systemic Constellations.
Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:
- How to set clear, unbreakable boundaries in any situation
- Techniques for wielding influence without sacrificing integrity
- Tools to reclaim inner authority and navigate life with confidence
- Practical strategies for handling power dynamics in relationships, work, and beyond
Kasia’s methods have empowered over 4,000 women worldwide to step into leadership roles in every sphere, from personal relationships to professional arenas. In this episode, she shares practical insights on transforming how you’re perceived by others and, more importantly, how you perceive yourself. Whether you’re navigating complex workplace dynamics, strengthening personal boundaries, or seeking clarity in relationships, Kasia’s teachings offer a path to reclaiming the powerful, authentic authority within you.
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“The beautiful thing is sadness is a wonderful way to hitch a ride into the submissive surrendered state because it’s already moving inward. And if you follow it without hesitation, it’ll take you to your most tender needs and desires, the needs that you wouldn’t even have admitted to yourself.”
Kasia Urbaniak
- 00:00 Introduction to the Human Upgrade – Dave introduces the theme of the episode and sets the stage for a conversation on power, influence, and inner authority.
- 01:07 Meet Kasia Urbaniak: Author of Unbound – Introduction to Kasia Urbaniak, her background, and her work at The Academy, teaching women practical tools for empowerment.
- 02:52 Exploring Power Dynamics – A discussion on the hidden rules of power dynamics and how they shape interactions in personal and professional relationships.
- 04:46 The Role of Emotions in Power – Kasia explains the significance of emotions in accessing and wielding personal power, and how emotional intelligence plays into influence.
- 14:50 Embodiment and Somatic Work – Insights into how body awareness and somatic practices strengthen one’s presence and ability to communicate authority.
- 32:58 The Power of Voice and Presence – Kasia dives into the impact of voice tone, volume, and physical presence on perception and influence.
- 48:22 Collective Intelligence and Intuition – Exploring how intuition, especially in groups, guides powerful decision-making and connection.
- 54:50 Facing Fears and Intuition – How to recognize and move past personal fears, using intuition as a tool to navigate through challenges.
- 55:15 Male vs. Female Intuition – Kasia’s perspective on differences in intuition between genders, and how each can be cultivated.
- 56:01 The Power of Erotic Energy – A look at how erotic energy fuels creativity and confidence, with advice on how to channel it for empowerment.
- 57:13 Welcoming Emotions and States – Kasia discusses the importance of embracing all emotional states for a fuller, more grounded experience of power.
- 59:10 Role-Playing and Personas – The benefits of role-playing as a tool to explore different aspects of personality and gain confidence in diverse situations.
- 01:00:06 Teaching Women to Speak Up – Practical methods to help women find their voices, assert themselves, and advocate effectively.
- 01:02:04 Energetic Dynamics in Relationships – Understanding the exchange of energy in relationships, and how to balance it for healthier connections.
- 01:04:35 Victimhood and Healing – Kasia’s insights on overcoming a victim mindset and embracing healing to step into one’s power.
- 01:19:54 The Power of Asking – Kasia reveals the transformative power of asking for what you want and how it can shift dynamics in unexpected ways.
- 01:29:40 Money and Emotional Alchemy – A conversation on the emotional charge around money, and how shifting your mindset can impact financial empowerment.
- 01:31:53 Shameless Money Conversations – How to have open, guilt-free conversations about money and break down societal taboos.
- 01:44:00 Final Thoughts and Upcoming Events – Dave and Kasia wrap up with key takeaways and insights on upcoming workshops and opportunities to learn more about Kasia’s work.
Resources:
- 2025 Biohacking Conference – https://biohackingconference.com/2025
- Kasia Urbaniak’s Website – https://www.kasiaurbaniak.com
- Kasia Urbaniak’s Book: Unbound: A Woman’s Guide to Power – https://www.kasiaurbaniak.com/unbound
- The Academy – Practical Training for Women on Power and Influence – https://www.kasiaurbaniak.com/the-academy
- Kasia Urbaniak on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/kasiaurbaniak/
- Dave Asprey’s Website – https://daveasprey.com
- Dave Asprey’s Book: Smarter Not Harder – https://daveasprey.com/books
- Danger Coffee – https://dangercoffee.com
- Danger Coffee Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/dangercoffeeofficial/
- Dave Asprey’s Linktree – https://linktr.ee/daveasprey
- Upgrade Collective: Join The Human Upgrade Podcast Live – https://www.ourupgradecollective.com
- Own an Upgrade Labs – https://ownanupgradelabs.com
- Upgrade Labs – https://upgradelabs.com
- 40 Years of Zen – Neurofeedback training for advanced cognitive enhancement – https://40yearsofzen.com
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