EP 1268
1268. Identity Hacker: How to COMPLETELY Change Your Personality At Any Age | Olga Khazan
In this episode of The Human Upgrade, Dave Asprey sits down with award-winning journalist and author Olga Khazan to explore the radical idea that your personality isn’t fixed—it’s hackable. From rewiring chronic anxiety and neuroticism to building confidence, resilience, and better relationships, Olga reveals what happened when she set out to completely change her personality in her 30s.
Together, they unpack the science of behavior-based transformation, the myth of the “true self,” and why sleep, parenting, psychedelics, and even improv might hold the key to becoming the version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be.
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In this Episode of The Human Upgrade™...
What if you could rewrite the code of your personality—on command? Not just cope with anxiety, overthinking, or social exhaustion… but delete the traits holding you back and install better ones?
This episode challenges everything you’ve been told about identity. Dave dives deep into the science of personality change to reveal why your habits, moods, triggers, and even sense of self aren’t fixed—they’re fluid. And more importantly: they’re up for grabs.
Joining him is award-winning journalist from The Atlantic, Olga Khazan, author of Me, But Better, who spent years hacking her own mind—transforming high neuroticism, social avoidance, and chronic self-criticism into calm, confidence, and connection. Her personal experiment in identity rewiring became a roadmap for anyone who wants to feel different… and live differently.
You’ll uncover the hidden mechanisms behind neuroticism, reactivity, and emotional spirals—and how to override them with real-time upgrades.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why your personality is a program—and how to recode it
- What daily behaviors scientifically rewire anxiety, anger, and reactivity
- The surprising link between identity, inflammation, and your gut
- Why gratitude isn’t soft—it’s neurological jiu-jitsu
- How to know if it’s your biologyor your storyrunning the show
- Whether pills, psychedelics, or sleep do more to shift who you are
- What to do when your inner critic won’t shut up
- And how to stop being the person you never meant to become
SPONSORS
-LMNT | Free LMNT Sample Pack with any drink mix purchase by going to https://drinklmnt.com/DAVE.
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“Gratitude was one of the quickest ways to snap out of a negative thought spiral.”
Olga Khazan
- 0:00 — Trailer
- 1:52 — Intro
Dave kicks off the conversation and sets the stage for Olga’s transformation journey.
- 2:16 — Personality Changes and Neuroticism
Olga opens up about being over 9/10 on the neurotic scale—and how she started changing it.
- 5:38 — Postpartum Personality Shifts
The emotional and biological chaos of early motherhood sends Olga’s scores plummeting.
- 10:21 — Gratitude and Cultural Beliefs
Olga confronts her Russian upbringing and why gratitude felt like tempting fate.
- 18:13 — Anger Management and Empathy
She breaks down how reframing people’s actions can completely change your emotional responses.
- 32:58 — Personality Traits and Boundaries
The difference between being agreeable and being a doormat—and how to draw the line.
- 35:46 — The Importance of Strong Boundaries
How saying no the right way can improve your life and your relationships.
- 36:07 — Personality Change as Self-Improvement
Why changing your personality is the most foundational upgrade of all.
- 37:22 — The Role of Medication in Personality Change
SSRIs, Xanax, and what the science says about pharmaceutical personality shifts.
- 39:18 — Brain-Body Connection and Mental Health
Dave and Olga explore how gut health, hormones, and inflammation shape identity.
- 43:26 — Impact of Sleep and Nutrition on Personality
Why sleep and food quality might affect who you are more than you think.
- 44:23 — Nicotine and Other Substances
Can smart use of nicotine improve anxiety, focus, and self-perception?
- 45:41 — Therapy and Personality Change
What long-term therapy actually does to neuroticism—and how fast it works.
- 46:43 — Changing Personality Through Behavior
How small actions—done repeatedly—create massive identity shifts over time.
- 1:01:25 — The Role of Relationships in Personality Development
How love, marriage, and early partnerships reshape your traits.
- 1:04:49 — Challenges and Methods in Personality Change
The behavioral science behind what works—and what doesn’t.
- 1:08:38 — The Power of Improv in Personality Change
Why facing fear on stage rewired Olga’s brain more than anything else.
- 1:10:17 — Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Dave and Olga reflect on the meaning of identity and what it means to grow.
Resources:
- Olga’s New Book – Me, But Better: https://www.amazon.com/Me-But-Better-Science-Personality/dp/1668012545
- Dave Asprey’s New Book – Heavily Meditated: https://daveasprey.com/heavily-meditated/
- Olga’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/olganator/?hl=en
- Olga’s Website: https://olgakhazan.com/
- 2025 Biohacking Conference: https://biohackingconference.com/2025
- Danger Coffee: https://dangercoffee.com
- Dave Asprey’s Website: https://daveasprey.com
- Dave Asprey’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/daveasprey
- Upgrade Collective – Join The Human Upgrade Podcast Live: https://www.ourupgradecollective.com
- Own an Upgrade Labs: https://ownanupgradelabs.com
- Upgrade Labs: https://upgradelabs.com
- 40 Years of Zen – Neurofeedback Training for Advanced Cognitive Enhancement: https://40yearsofzen.com
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