In this episode of Bulletproof Radio, my guest is Sam Qurashi, a self-professed “unorthodox psychologist” who walked away from a psychiatric residency at an addiction hospital because he wanted to help people in a different way. He’s actively working to change people’s interactions with the external world.
Sam’s now a writer and entrepreneur with a following of more than 700K (and growing) on Instagram. He shares thoughts, concepts and questions we can ask ourselves to interrupt the psychological patterns that keep us trapped in mental loops of our own design.
“The best way to trigger a change is to create an interruption, but how do you create an interruption that does not cause stress?” he asks. “How do you create an interruption that is gentle, that is a way to get people to reflect?”
His framework for growth and change requires that we question ourselves and consider a model of learning he’s developed called liminalism. He looked at the common approaches people have about learning and living in the extremes and realized how little they actually benefit our personal reality or truth.
“A lot of people live in extremes,” Sam says. “If you live in an extreme, you’re limited automatically.”
“What lives between black and white is not gray,” he explains. “It’s literally the entire color spectrum. Balance, focus, flexibility, options, choice–that lives in the middle ground.”
He learned how to change his own perceptions of the world by interviewing experts that live beyond the frame of traditional psychology. Our discussion explores the interesting lessons Sam learned from a pickpocket, hypnotist, cold reader, tea master, horse whisperer, and others.
One of the things that had him curious was how they viewed fear.
“Fear lives in the future,” Sam says. “The future doesn’t exist but fear just visited me in the present moment. So, if I jump, I’m actually racing fear into the future. If I get there first, I’m obliterating the fear.”
Listen on to find out how you can avoid extremes in your life, find your personal middle ground, and face your fears.
Enjoy! And get more resources at Dave.Asprey/podcasts
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Follow Along with the Transcript
Triggered Much? How to Avoid Extremes and Find Your Middle Ground – Sam Qurashi with Dave Asprey – #786
- One of the biggest aha moments is discovering the two different types of schools in terms of learning. – 2:17
- Do I keep practicing this thing that I suck at, or do I stop and change how I do it? – 4:50
- “Did you do it properly? Did you do it enough?” – 6:23
- If you are frustrated, the idea is to work on the frustration. – 9:27
- Am I doing it for the right reason? Am I doing it at the right time? Am I doing it in the right state? – 13:10
- Here’s the thing about asking, “What else?” – 14:44
- “I can handle this.” Really resilience at its core is that state. – 16:41
- If it’s no longer a problem, there’s no conflict. If there’s no conflict, there’s no stress. – 18:48
- So fear lives in the future. The future doesn’t exist but fear just visited me in the present moment. So, if I jump, I’m actually racing fear into the future. If I get there first, I’m obliterating the fear. – 25:49
- When you do not have time constraints, not only will the activity as long as you’re focused on it be more fulfilling – 30:43
- What did you learn by interviewing a cold reader? What is a cold reader? – 32:24
- The moment you answer these four, you build rapport instantly. It’s such a simplistic way of looking at it – 38:56
- For example, let’s say, I’m in London. I’m walking, let’s say, an Oxford Street. I have a map. I’m looking confused – 41:58
- If you want to build rapport, the real key is eliminating threat. If you appear non-threatening, that changes the game completely. – 44:45
- The best way to trigger a change is to create an interruption, but how do you create an interruption that does not cause stress? How do you create an interruption that is gentle, that is a way to get people to reflect? – 53:28
- We have three types of peers – 56:21
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