Why Lying to Yourself Could be a Good Thing
Learn how to change the stories you tell about yourself, your capabilities, your relationships and your life using Rapid Transformational Therapy®.
In this Episode of The Human Upgrade™...
…you’ll learn about a therapy method that gets to the root of your problem and solves it within one to three sessions.
“The main reason it works, I believe, is that it overcomes the high level of resistance that most people have to changing fundamental beliefs about themselves by getting to the deepest core of their belief very quickly,” says Marisa Peer.
Marisa is a clinical psychologist and expert in human behavior who developed a new way to approach your mental health — Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®). RTT offers the same benefits of traditional therapy, but on a much quicker timeline.
“I didn’t understand why therapy, which is also dealing with pain, had to be so long. I never got that ‘turn up with your pain every week,’” she says. “We’ll keep reopening the wound. And one day, you might get better.”
“Pick your lie and look at your lie and make it work for you."
She’s also an international best-selling author of multiple books, motivational speaker, personal development expert and leading celebrity therapist. She’s worked with people around the world and most of them have a story they tell themselves about not being “enough.” Her newest book puts the focus squarely on the personal narrative you’re clinging to: “Tell Yourself A Better Lie: Use The Power Of Rapid Transformational Therapy To Edit Your Story And Rewrite Your Life.”
“After 30 years of private practice, I created Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) because it was clear to me that so much of the pain and suffering we see in the world comes down to the fundamental stories we tell ourselves and how often those stories are untrue or outright lies,” she explains. RTT has roots in hypnosis.
Marisa helps people pinpoint the reasons behind why people want what they want, so they can actualize a meaningful life for themselves. She uses a solution-oriented technique that can make you mentally stronger, more confident and even more loving towards yourself.
“He who hesitates is lost,” she says. “While you’re waiting to write your book or start your company, someone else is going to come along and write that book and start that company. So, time is the one thing we don’t have access of. And so, I think they’ll always be people who like that long method [of traditional talk therapy] and a lot of people who don’t like it. And I think we can definitely accommodate both.”
It’s time to start telling yourself the truth about who you are. “Our greatest pain is caused by the lies we tell ourselves,” Marisa says. She offers candid advice on how to help you recognize the harmful story you tell yourself and how to change it to a better one.
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- Tell Yourself a Better Lie is the name of her new book. And it’s based on years as a clinical psychologist and human behavior expert, who looked at mental health and created this RTT Rapid Transformational Therapy. – 1:09
- You talk with CEOs and superstars and royalty and Olympic athletes, you’re kind of dealing at the highest level. What made you get into this in the very, very early days of your career. – 2:54
- But other people feel deeply frustrated that four years later, how are you feeling today? Well, the same as I felt last week and indeed last year. And when am I going to get better? – 7:49
- It doesn’t mean it’s the only way. And it doesn’t mean it’s the only way it works. It means it was the only way when it came into being. And now, we have better ways. – 11:05
- When you think you’re not enough, you need more, that could obviously be more alcohol, more drugs, but also more followers on Facebook, more screen time, more shopping, more hoarding. – 12:47
- If you say, “I always get sinus headaches. I gain weight looking at food. My kid is driving me crazy. The commute will be the death of me.” These are clearly not true. And yet we talk in this kind of language every day. So, why not flip it and say, “I use the commute to listen to great educational audios. My kids are a challenge but in 15 years, I miss them terribly.” – 16:17
- You got to really think about what you want. And then if you know what you want, and you’re very clear, and you believe you’re worth it, it’s very likely you can have it. – 22:23
But this ability to not let ourselves be praised is terribly sad because nothing boosts your self-esteem like praise. And our praise muscle is a trophy thing because we don’t know how to build it up. – 27:03
- For every negative thing that you hear, you need to hear 8 to 10 positive things for it to balance out. Just because the body overweights fear and threats. Have you heard anything like that and do you believe there’s a ratio? – 28:59
- When we go to the lies we tell ourselves these are really not about I can be a baseball player or a soccer player and make $50 million dollars. It’s about I’m not good enough. I don’t have anything to offer the world. Who am I? – 33:58
- So, too much praise versus praising intelligence versus in praising hard work and action might have a negative side effect. What do you think after all the years. – 36:45
- But you’ve made the claim. And I find it credible, just given your background and all this that really about three sessions of RTT permanently gets that in there somehow. How does RTT actually work to get those restatements or to get those lies into someone? – 40:38
- If you say to the mind when I count to three, we will go back to why, the subconscious mind is always switched on. It is always on record. It knows everything. – 44:45
- So, the first step is what I call being a good detective. Laying out stuff, having an inquisitive mind, looking for [inaudible 00:49:09] moments, and then that’s the first step to get some information. The second step is to go back and have a look at what happened in this person’s life to make sense of how they are the way they are. And that’s a very easy step. – 49:23
- The problem is that before the age of five, we don’t have a logic, just emotion. And when children have parents who mess up, the kids don’t stop loving the parent, they immediately stop loving themselves. – 57:41